Friday, October 31, 2025

school drama at hces: halloween edition 🎃 (santa, sadness & no kona ice)

today was... wow. halloween on a school day should honestly be a national emergency. it was loud, chaotic, and full of sugar. every five minutes someone was yelling, “look at my costume!” or “i dropped my candy!” and the teachers looked like they were counting down the seconds until dismissal.

it was also book character parade day, which made things even wilder. i went as willy wonka—well, sorta. not the full purple coat and hat, just my old steampunk outfit from last halloween. i looked like if willy wonka invented candy that ran on gears and steam.

the class party was just pure madness. i brought cookies (which disappeared immediately, like someone inhaled them). frosting everywhere. candy everywhere. kids running around like their lives depended on finding more sugar.

then recess came, and that’s when i saw it: santa claus.
on halloween.
bro showed up in full red suit, white beard, everything. i swear i thought maybe the months got mixed up.

so i went up and asked him for a sweater—because it was cold, and he’s santa. sweater guy. present guy. winter guy. but… nothing. no sweater. no ho ho ho. no jingle bells. just a man in red leaving me empty-handed.

after recess, i was in ms. drummond’s class, still thinking about it. i didn’t say anything to anyone—I just sat there, and in my head i was like,
my god. i thought you were supposed to be santa. i thought you were supposed to give me gifts. and you left me with nothing.
and i just kind of… fake cried to myself a little. quietly. like a dramatic movie scene no one else knew was happening.

and to top it all off—it was kona ice day. everyone’s outside sipping their colorful shaved ice like life was perfect, and me? i didn’t get any. my mom forgot to give me money, and i’m definitely not responsible enough to remember it myself. so yeah. no kona ice. no sweater. no luck.

so that was my day: willy wonka (but steampunk), santa disappointment, and kona ice heartbreak.

— colt mifflin, reporting live from hces: cold, broke, and emotionally sticky from too much frosting.

Tuesday, October 28, 2025

ovdwhnyeecc said rufzrhgkcgfdh 522qdgzhad7sHzec

so, um… today? barely any drama. which, low-key, felt weird. like a whole school day with normal levels of chaos would be a miracle, right? anyway, turns out the only real scene happened in drummin's class.

there's always that class clown—k—who thinks spit takes and pratfalls are a personality. today k decided punching was the joke. yep. k punched me. not a cute little flick either; full arm, surprise attack. my first reasonable move? tellin' the teacher. obvious. safe. boring.

but i went for the most second reasonable thing. because sometimes you gotta protect yourself and collect a tiny bit of payback. so i did the thing. i slapped k. with my jacket. look, it sounds soft, but that leather (or whatever this jacket's made of) packed a sting. it HURT. like, actually hurt. mission accomplished.

then the bus ride home got spicy. i ride the afternoon bus—you know, the one that drops everyone off. we were just talking about the pre-taters (pretenders?) next to us, and the bus driver totally thought we were talking to her. i was like, NO WE'RE NOT! and she shot back with, DON'T YELL AT ME! like—okay, fair, but also not my fault.

and then k decided to snap back too. suddenly we were having this passive-aggressive echo: i did it to k, k did it back at me, and the bus turned into a chorus of whispers and amateur referees. (and dw, the bus driver didn’t slap me or anything—just words.)

the teacher tried to play calm-mediator but teachers have that fast-melt patience at the end of the day. administration might get involved tomorrow, or maybe it'll all cool off by lunchtime—depends if k shows up with more jokes or just a bruise.

Monday, October 13, 2025

school drama at hces: the charcuterie board of chaos

so, as always, school just had to serve me another plate of drama today. like, seriously, if school was a restaurant, i’d have a lifetime subscription.

first off — recess. someone had their hands on me. and i’m like, “stop! stop putting your hands on me!” and they just kept doing it. like, what part of stop sounds like keep going?? i swear, i was this close to screaming.

then we got the class clown. you know her. you love her. the chaos in human form. let’s just call her kay. for some reason, in ms. drummond’s class, she was just... laying down. not at her desk, not pretending to be asleep — no, she was flat on the floor. like she paid rent down there or something.

and don’t even get me started on the bus. bus 105 hit the famous bump and everyone went absolutely feral. screaming, yelling, you name it. it was like a rollercoaster with no safety bar.

now, while i’m typing this, i’m literally sitting on a green electrical box because the day’s been that dramatic. some construction worker just waved at me like, “you good, kid?” no sir. no, i am not.

oh, and in art class, i may or may not have acted like rules were just... a suggestion. paint everywhere. creative freedom.

also, i gave a girl my phone number. not like that. i repeat, not. like. that. we are just friends. have been, always will be.

so yeah. today was basically a charcuterie board of chaos — a little bit of everything, none of it peaceful.


Friday, October 3, 2025

drama overload: pep rally edition

today was literally one long scream. like, i can’t even think straight about it without my brain buffering.

first of all—the pep rally. no cheerleaders, no band. just almost every teacher in existence standing there, like they were the kings and queens of the gym. everyone was repping our kingdom colors, and it felt like we were about to storm the castle or something. and me? oh, i went full battle cry. i screamed until i literally couldn’t scream anymore. my voice gave up halfway through and said, “good luck, you’re on your own.”

and of course, because it’s not enough to scream yourself into oblivion, people had to scream directly in my ear. like, please, my eardrums didn’t sign up for this pep rally.

but wait—earlier in the day (because it was a yes day) we went to the park playground. and tell me why some random guy was out there doing straight-up professional pole dancing. like, not even joking. spins, twirls, flips. i was standing there like ??? is this a playground or america’s got talent? i didn’t know if i should cheer or pretend i didn’t see it.

then came the bus ride. and yeah—you guessed it. i was still screaming. i don’t even know why anymore. maybe i was possessed by the spirit of the pep rally. maybe my body just decided screaming was my new default setting. whatever it was, my throat is destroyed and i’m definitely going to sound like a squeaky toy tomorrow.

conclusion: pep rally chaos, random playground pole dancing, kingdom colors everywhere, and me losing my voice in the process.


Thursday, October 2, 2025

just this.

the 1st grade bathrooms have NO locks. oh and also if you scroll down, you'll see a profile thing. click on that and you'll see my email. email me with your street name and i'll sell chocolateeeeeeeeeeeeeee. k bye.

the quiet genius of a bus driver’s birthday sign

today was technically my last day of school before christmas break. i’m not coming in tomorrow, so even though tomorrow is the official last...